ha times flies by so freakishly fast. yesterday it was like you just turned 20 and the next thing you know you’re about to add another year to that age. after turning 20 birthdays aren’t that fun anymore. you always wish you’re still in your teens or you wish that you can keep being 20 at least. now you’re not looking forward to that certain date on the calendar.

honestly i never felt any difference during any birthdays. i still always feel like the same person that i was last year or the year before. nothing drastically changes. is that a good thing? or really the worse feeling ever? you feel stuck on the same old thing every year. you feel you didn’t go far, didn’t do much, didn’t experience much, didn’t achieve much. envying people that seems to do everything, to go everywhere, experience tons by your age. did i do life wrong? did i waste my time? did i enjoy it or not? was i afraid to do things? never took risks or chances? what was i doing when she did that, when he did that? am i regretting things i never done or should’ve done? what is the one thing that i can be proud of my 20 years alive? did i make a difference?

21, its just a number. i keep telling myself that. no big deal. i wish i could truly believe that. fool me. tell me things are just fine, i did lots and gonna do more. fool me. tell me that i did matter. fool me. 

you know what, life is short, what’s the point worrying about the things you did or about to do. as long as you love enjoy and have fun with it you’re good. you’ll miss the incredible things if keep on worrying, right? you’ll never know when you’re life is gonna end. live, dream, and laugh. :)